


The First Time He Kissed A Boy.

by Gayboy1996



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Canon Divergence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Found Family, Injury, M/M, Self-Harm, very mild though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23564521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gayboy1996/pseuds/Gayboy1996
Summary: The next day he manages to miss Akira at the train station, catching Ryuji instead. “Hello.” He greets him, startling him from behind.“Ah, hey dude.” He looks the taller man up and down. “Wassup.”Yusuke Deals with his personal trauma through finding companionship in the oddest of places.
Relationships: Kitagawa Yusuke/Sakamoto Ryuji, Kurusu Akira/Takamaki Ann, side:
Comments: 5
Kudos: 85





	1. Keeping Back the Ghost Inside

**Author's Note:**

> warning for very light self harm/yusuke bonks himself in the head to cope  
> warning for Ryuji acting like a fucking fool

Yusuke is angry.

He is enraged.

He’s never felt this kind of emotion before. 

He sits in the shower in his poor excuse shack of a home, biting on his knees and sobbing into the water already running down his face. His fists meet the side of his head, a learned habit he got from one of the other pupils. The other pupil had figured if Madarame saw her pounding her own head he would take his abuse easy on her. It never worked, but Yusuke somehow found comfort in the act. He remembers calling her mother when he was younger, growing out of it by force. 

“She is not your mother, so you will not address her as such. Do you understand?” Madarame’s voice echoes in his head. 

Madarame’s been out and busy with his exhibit for the past few days so their run-ins have been few and far between. Or maybe he’s too afraid to face Yusuke,he’s sincerely hoping that that's the true reason. 

Shaking off his emotions like water from his fingertips he turns the knob to off and towels himself off. He looks in the mirror, hand smoothing over his chin. He should shave soon, fine hairs turning into thicker darker blue hairs. He brushes his teeth, getting the taste of blood out of his mouth. He bandages up his knees, disinfecting the wounds from his teeth. Exiting the bathroom he manages to fumble - his bandaged knees restricting some mobility - his way to his bedroom, laying down on his futon and falling asleep within a few minutes. 

The next day he manages to miss Akira at the train station, catching Ryuji instead. “Hello.” He greets him, startling him from behind.

“Ah, hey dude.” He looks the taller man up and down. “Wassup.”

“Oh, nothing in particular.” Yusuke swipes his bangs back. “Just… Catching the train.” 

“Haha, yeah me too.” Ryuji rubs at the back of his neck, never realizing just how awkward Yusuke can get. “Do you think we’re going to go to the palace today? Y’know, finish things before it's too late?”

“Hm. Sure.” Yusuke replies dryly. Not extremely thrilled to be in conversation with Ryuji.

“You still think I’m just some thug, dontcha?” Ryuji prods. 

“No… But, Well, your attire and your attitude don’t help much.” He scoffs, as if Ryuji had no idea of his figurative persona. 

“Of course you’d think that.” Ryuji toes the ground. “We’re teammates, you should at least try to be a little friendly towards me.” 

“I’m courteous enough.” The train approaches and Yusuke readies himself to brave the crowd. “I’ll be seeing you.” 

After school Ryuji consults the group in the courtyard.

“I’m telling you, he might not be a good fit for the Phantom Thieves. You shoulda seen the way he talked to me this morning.” Ryuji leans back onto the table. 

“But look at how far he’s come with us. We can’t just give him a persona and ditch him.”

“Ann’s right, with his new power he could turn against us.” Morgana butts in. 

“I never said he’d do that?” Ann shushes Morgana. “I’m just saying, it would hurt him.”

“He’s our teammate.” Akira says little but his word is final. 

“Why don’t we all try to get to know him better? Starting with you Ryuji.”

“What? Why me? Why can’t you get to know him better huh, Ann?” 

“You two got off on the wrong foot initially, why not make it better sooner rather than later?” Akira butts in, his word making things final. 

“Ugh, fine!” Ryuji pouts, arms crossed in front of him. “But I’m not gonna like it.” 

Later that day they head into the palace; Joker, Panther, Mona, and Skull heading in full force while Fox trails behind. Yusuke hides behind a sofa right outside the treasure hall, he can sense that things are going to be wrapping up soon. From the protection of his cover, and no shadows visible around him, he takes out his sword, carving his initials into the plush carpet beneath him. 

He advances a bit further, a long hall visible in front of him, but he can’t quite get a good look from behind the display case he's hidden behind. Impulse and intuition leads him further ahead, he’s so close he can hear the other Phantom Thieves fiddling with something in a side room. He hides behind a wall, right in front of a corridor. Peeking his head out, he spots him. Madarame is there in all of his fallacious glory, the gold of his kimono sparkles in the light that shines from behind him. Could that be… his treasure? If they’re this close why aren’t they taking it? He’ll have to convene with Joker later and ask what exactly their strategy is. 

“We’ve secured the route to the treasure, c’mon, let’s go.” Skull says as they make their approach. 

Yusuke, freeing himself from his hiding position, nods in affirmation. They all exit the palace together, feeling themselves emerge back into reality on the accessway. They all stand idly, leaving the metaverse making you a bit dizzy, feeling as if your soul is suspended above your own body. 

“Hey, why don’t we all go to the diner?” Morgana says, as if he has any intention of eating there. 

“That sounds soooo good right now,” Ryuji smiles, tongue sticking out a little bit. 

“A morale boost.” Akira looks at everyone, but Yusuke can feel it being directed at himself.

“I…” Yusuke finds it hard to speak up, he has enough for dinner but that leaves so very little for the next day. “Yes. That sounds splendid.” 

At the diner they all get a meal, Yusuke straying towards the cheaper side, opting for a salad and a glass of water. Akira got a sandwich, Ann also got a salad claiming the need to maintain her figure (even though she got cake afterwards), and Ryuji got a noodle bowl. Yusuke's body craves any sort of nutrients, so when the waitress brings over Ryuji’s bowl piled high with noodles his stomach growls despite the half eaten salad in front of him. It doesn’t go unnoticed, Akira’s foot jabs into Ryuji’s shin; prompting him. 

“You uh, you want some dude?” Ryuji leans closer to Yusuke. 

“No thank you.” Yusuke passes, holding up his hand in protest. 

There goes Akira’s foot back into Ryuji’s shin, “No dude, I insist.” He hisses the last syllable, glaring daggers at Akira who was chatting with Ann. 

Yusuke just stares at Ryuji, not knowing what to do as a spoonful of noodles comes crashing towards his face. The noodles collide with his face and slop down his white shirt, brown broth staining his uniform. 

“Ryuji…” Yusuke seethes, “Why would you do such a thing?” 

Ann reaches for her napkin and hands it to Yusuke, he accepts and begins patting down his shirt. Ryuji sinks back into the booth, embarrassment washing over his face. 

“S-Sorry,” Ryuji peeps, “I really thought you wanted some.”

Akira just stares at the whole scene erupting in front of him, he watches as Yusuke stands and excuses himself for the night. He also watches Ryuji put his head in his hands after Yusuke is out the door. Ann laughs, trying to lighten the mood with her neverending positivity. Morgana licks up what little of the spilled broth he can reach from inside the bag.

“Man… He really doesn’t like you Ryuji.” Akira speaks up, verbally trying to figure out how to deal with this situation.

“What did I ever do to him?” Ryuji asks, pouting into what's left of his noodle bow. 

The phantom thieves disband for the night, and Yusuke is halfway back to the atelier. The once warm broth has cooled and clings to his chest, and he curses himself for not bringing a coat. Once inside he revels in the pseudo-warmth (warmer than outside, but not by much), sneaking his way into his room even though Madarame was probably out. He’s too tired from walking home to take a proper shower, instead using a wet cloth to clean up what little broth clung to his skin. Heading to bed he changed into his pajamas and lays down, falling asleep almost as soon as his head hits his pillow.


	2. There's A Room Waiting For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yusuke has some nightmares, the calling cards are made.

He wakes up from a half remembered nightmare, nothing too big to report on. He’s been having more of them ever since joining the phantom thieves, and he wonders if they will end once Madarame has been defeated. Sighing, he stands and dresses himself; preparing his body for the day. 

School is nothing spectacular, he’s used to getting ignored but with the attention of Madarame’s exhibit has more strangers approaching him than before. One of his classmates, a girl who’s name escapes him, approaches.

“So like, Madarame is so cool right? You’re his pupil right? That’s like sooooo cool. Wanna go grab a coffee sometime?” She asks.

“No—“ He pauses. He thinks about it, maybe he just needs to make friends. “Sure.” 

“Cool, there’s a cute little cafe in Yongen, want to meet there on Thursday?” 

“Sounds good.” He hasn’t taken his eyes off of his painting, he hopes she gets the hint that he’s not super interested.

She exits his day as quickly as she came. After school he heads towards the accessway, declining to check his phone considering their deadline. He sees Akira in the distance, his walking speed picking up when he sees the familiar face. 

“Greetings.” He says as soon as he gets within earshot. 

“Heyyy.” Ann replies in her cheery tone. 

“We ready to send the calling card?” Ryuji asks, smiling.

“Now’s the time to act, we’ve only got today before it’s too late.” Morgana chimes in. 

“Let’s do it.” Akira offers the final word. 

“How does the calling card process work? I’ve only seen the news reports that contain Kamoshida’s calling card.” Yusuke asks.

“Well you have Ryuji to thank for that wonderful piece of art.” Morgana chides the crudeness of the previous calling card. 

“It could use some work, but I’m prepared to get this one done and down!” Ryuji replies with his usual enthusiasm. 

“Yusuke,” Akira begins. “Why don’t you help Ryuji with the calling card? He could use your artistic expertise.” 

Ryuji stammers, trying to think of an excuse to get out of it but he gives up. “Yeah, what’dya say Yusuke?”

“I think it’s a… marvelous idea.” Yusuke smiles, although obviously fake. 

“Today’s meeting is adjourned then! Phantom thieves, out!” Morgana’s cat smile can be heard through his voice.

They all say their goodbyes, Ryuji and Yusuke staying behind. They stand for a few very awkward moments before speaking. 

“So… my place?” Ryuji breaks the silence. 

“That seems to be the most suitable arrangement.” He replies dryly. About as happy to be put in this situation as Ryuji is. 

“C’mon I’ll show you the way.” 

Yusuke thanks whatever sort of God is out there and listening that the line to Ryuji’s house is approved in the eyes of his commuter pass. The train ride over to Ryuji’s place isn’t much fun, considering it’s a simple train ride. They don’t bother making idle conversation on the way over. Ryuji warns his mother might come home while they’re making the cards but she wont have any suspicion as long as Yusuke acts the part of ‘friend visiting’. 

“Sorry it’s not much,” Ryuji tosses his bag onto the couch and slips his shoes off. 

“You’ve seen the state of Madarame’s atelier, haven’t you?” He scoffs, taking his shoes off and setting them neatly by the door. 

“No need to be so rude man, you know what I meant.” Ryuji huffs, having enough of Yusuke’s holier than thou attitude. 

“My apologies, I didn’t mean to offend.” Yusuke looks around. “It’s very lovely in here, very home like.” 

“Well thanks.” Ryuji is starting to wonder if Yusuke really means to come across as an arrogant douchebag or if he just accidentally falls into that category. “Why don’t we get started in my room, that way if Mom comes home she won’t see the cards ‘n shit.” 

“Sounds like a plan.” He follows Ryuji into a very small and rather messy room.  
“Sorry it’s so messy, didn’t really expect to have company doin’ this.” Ryuji laughs. Pulling out a bin from underneath his bed stocked high with red and black cardstock, magazines and paint. 

“I understand.” Yusuke kneels down, examining the materials they have to work with. “This should suffice.” 

“It got us through to Kamoshida, it should get us through to Madarame.” Ryuji begins flipping through one of the magazines. “First we gotta think about what we want the message to say, then cut out the kanji to spell it.” 

“I’m aware of the general nature of these things.” Yusuke decides to pick up a magazine as well. 

“We’ll need to address him first. What about something like: Dear bastard of the art world?” Ryuji begins to jot down notes in a separate sketchbook.

“No, that’s too vulgar.”

“What about Sir Madarame, if the first one was too vulgar for you?” 

“Perfect.”

“Perfect?” Ryuji repeats, dumbfounded that Yusuke would like something along those lines.

“Make sure to include his first name as well.” 

“Man, you’re not jokin’ are ya?” Ryuji whispers underneath his breath, writing down the beginning of the first draft. 

“Inspiration… she strikes!” Yusuke smiles, snatching the pen and paper from Ryuji’s hands as he begins furiously writing things down.

“Woah there,” Ryuji just sits back and watches as Yusuke writes his ideas out as fast as he can. 

“Ahem,” Yusuke coughs, clearing his throat to read his ideas. “Sir Ichyruisai Madarame, a great sinner of vanity whose talent has grown weary. You are a painter who uses his authority to flagrantly steal the ideas of his pupils. The Phantom Thieves of hearts have decided to make you confess your crimes with your own mouth. We will take your perverse desires without fail.”

“That's… good?” Ryuji nods in approval. “But we should dumb it down a little, so that even strangers readin ‘em can understand ‘em.” 

“You mean for yourself.” Yusuke snorts a laugh. 

“I mean, yeah maybe.” Ryuji scratches the back of his neck and grabs the notepad from Yusuke. “I just don’t think it flows super well.”

“By all means, show me how better it flows under your jurisdiction.” 

“Well let's stick with: Sir Ichyruisai Madarame, since you like it so much. Then let's do: a great sinner of vanity whose talent has been exhausted. You are an artist who uses his authority to shamelessly steal the ideas of his pupils. We have decided to make you confess your crimes with your own mouth. We will take your distorted desires without fail from, the Phantom Thieves of Hearts.” Ryuji tones down a lot of Yusuke's flamboyant vocabulary. 

“It sounds… Alright.” Yusuke’s approval is all that he needed before they begin their much needed arts and crafts project. 

They spend the night working on calling card after calling card, at 10pm Ryuji’s mother comes home and introduces herself to Yusuke. They seem to get along much better than Yusuke and Ryuji do, which isn’t surprising considering Yusuke has always seen himself getting along much better with adults rather than his peers. He decides to head home after their brief introduction. He chuckles when he realizes just exactly how close Ryuji’s apartment is to the atelier. He remarks that he actually enjoyed his time spent with Ryuji, aimlessly making cards was quite therapeutic for him. He enters the atelier, walking up to his bedroom and falling asleep almost instantly. 

“Come live with me, here, in the palace.” Shadow Madarame pleads, almost on his knees. 

“No,” Dream Yusuke bites his lip and turns away, “I will never.” 

“Please, Yusuke, it’s the only way you will ever succeed in your career, is by my side!” 

Yusuke takes a hesitant look back, he wants to scream and yell “NO” over and over again in Madarame’s face but his words are getting caught in his throat. 

Madarame grabs onto his boot, pleading further, “Yusuke, you’re my son, you must stay with me here.”

The words trigger something deep inside Yusuke, sending tears spilling over the corners of his eyes, he falls to his knees and Madarame takes the opportunity to encapsulate him. The world of the palace turns into swirling colors of red, blue and yellow. He has a sensation of falling, yet he remains in one place. He feels gnawing pain at the base of his spine as his body merges with Madarame’s forming into an amalgamation of a beast. It roars and he wakes up in a panic. His first instinct is to reach for his phone, opening up their chat client and sending a message to Akira.

Yusuke: Sorry for bothering you at such an hour.

He checks the time, 2 AM. 

Yusuke: I however, have been thinking. I hope you can understand if I ask you to not permit me to fight tomorrow. I have no idea if I will be able to hold back from gravley injuring Madarame.


	3. Often I'm Upset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madarame is defeated and Yusuke goes on a date (sort of)

Managing to fall back asleep for a short while, until his alarm so rudely wakes him for the day. He dresses and grooms himself appropriately for his assistant job at Madarame’s exhibit. Today is the day, he thinks to himself, Morgana should be out now placing the beginning of the calling cards. 

The walk to Shibuya isn’t far, nor does it take him long. He gets there quick enough to see Morgana strutting away from the main hall. He idles around, examining works he wishes to some day return to their owners. Madarame stomps into the room, clearly enraged. 

“Yusuke! Can you believe what they’re saying about me?” He huffs, folding his arms in front of his chest. “You saw the cards littered around here didn’t you?” 

“Yes, Sensei. I took down every last one of them that I saw.” He folds out a handful of calling cards he had kept from his night with Ryuji. 

Madarame snatches the calling cards from Yusuke’s hands, storming off to find his assistant to demand they all be taken down. Smiling to himself Yusuke exits the building, walking around for a while before managing to find the other Phantom Thieves. They all stand there, a little awkwardly for a moment before Yusuke speaks up. 

“He’s seen the cards, and he seemed rather angry. Will this suffice?” He asks more or less directly at Morgana. 

“This should work if it’s anything like Kamoshida,” Morgana replies, head peeking out from the bag on Akiras shoulder. 

“Alright, let's head out.” Ann grabs her phone and begins the navigation to the metaverse. 

Once in the metaverse, it takes a moment for them to adjust to the new scenery, to avoid further suspicion (and to avoid being spotted by Madarame’s private security company) they transported from shibuya rather than next to Madarame’s house. Far off in the distance they can see the glowing golden light from the Museum, they all gawk at how gaudy it can be from still so far away. 

Along their short walk to the palace Ryuji and Yusuke manage to fall behind from the group. “So man, how’d you sleep last night?”

“Just fine, thank you.” Yusuke replies, wondering if Akira told him about his late night text. 

“That’s good.” Ryuji stuffs his hands into his pockets. “I got like no sleep, up all night making calling cards.”

“Do you think that will hinder your performance today?” 

“I dunno,” Ryuji can’t seem to stop moving, taking one of his hands from his pockets and scratching behind his neck. “Maybe? Akira said I’m gonna be on the back burner today.”

Damnit. 

“Ah, so I will be fighting today.” Yusuke says. “Thank you for the warning.”

“Why? Somethin’ wrong?” Ryuji prods. 

“No, I’m feeling rather powerful today.” He flexes his hands in his gloves, looking down at the teal fabric. 

“Well that’s good.” Ryuji doesn’t believe a word Yusuke is saying.

They catch up to the rest of the group as soon as they make it closer to the palace. They all do some stretches (Morgana’s orders), and enter the palace taking the quickest route to the treasure hall. In the treasure hall safe room they take a quick break, managing to have only run into a few shadows along the way. Fox sees this as the perfect opportunity to talk to Joker. 

“Joker, may I have a word with you?” Fox idles by the safe room door. 

“Yeah, let's hide outside.” Joker opens the door and quickly dashes to cover behind a wall, motioning for Fox to follow suit. 

While in the comfort of their hiding places, facing away from each other, Fox begins: “Joker… I don’t think it’s safe for me to fight today.” 

“Which is exactly why I think you should fight, Fox. We all got to enact our own revenge on Kamoshida, and you need to fight against Madarame.” Joker offers his two cents 

“If that is what you wish.” Fox tries to hide his disappointment beneath his mask. 

“Is there anything else you need to talk about?” Joker tries to get Yusuke to open up.

“No, that is all.” Fox swats away any attempt to open up. 

They enter the safe room again, exiting shortly after. Their plan goes smoothly. Fox gives the signal to Panther from atop the treasure room, sending Mona down as the lights flicker off. They manage to exit through a window in the rafters of the room, descending down the jagged edges of the building. Near the door they had to open up in the real world Mona gets antsy, begging the others to let him look at the treasure. They oblige and are all astounded by what they find. The treasure is not the treasure at all.  
Madarame comes from behind, laughing maniacally, “You really thought it’d be that easy to get my treasure?”

“Madarame…” Yusuke hisses out through his teeth. 

The fight doesn’t last long, not as long as Yusuke thinks it would. He manages to keep his cool for long enough, maybe that was thanks to Goemon? When Madarame’s true treasure shows itself he can’t stop the tears from flowing. The Sayuri he oh so cherished ever since he was a child, was the presence in the painting always calling out to him? 

He has a vision, not unlike the fleeting moments where Goemon talked to him that wasn’t excruciatingly painful. His mother calls out to him, “Yusuke, Yusuke,” She calls. He begs his throat to let out any note of sound. “I’ve always been watching over you.” She says. Tears are hot and wet rolling down his cheeks, thankful for how big his mask is, he hopes the others don’t notice when he comes back to reality. 

“Fox,” It’s not Joker this time that breaks him from reality, it’s Skull. “Fox.”

He swings around, looking almost startled as he clutches the true Sayuri to his chest. “Yes… Let’s go.”

The earth begins to quake underneath them, the palace crumbles. They all hop into Mona-car and exit the premises as soon as they can. You have now returned to the real world, the metaverse nav calls out to them. They take a moment to adjust back to reality. Yusuke examines the painting in his arms, not too long before a man yells out “Hey, you there! Stop!” 

He notices they’re back in front of Madarame’s shack, before he knows it they're all running away from the guard, he sees Akira fiddling with his phone as they run. Turning down an alleyway suddenly they’re in mementos. After a collective sigh of relief they exit the underground and reappear near the station. 

“Finally, a break…” Ann leans back onto a trash bin. 

“The...Treasure!” Morgana rubs himself against Yusuke’s arm.

“Yes, the treasure.” Yusuke takes a moment to view the piece in the late afternoon light. 

“It’s beautiful,” Akira puts his hand on Yusukes shoulder.

“Truly, I--”

“Man! I am starving!” Ryuji interrupts. 

“Oh me too, we should go to a cafe!” Ann replies, just as enthusiastic.

“I know just the place.” Morgana wiggles himself back into Akira’s bag. “To Leblanc!”

“I could go for a snack as well,” Yusuke thinks aloud.

They head toward Leblanc, taking the train to Yongen. Yusuke doesn’t chat much for the ride, prefering to hold his hand to the cool glass of the picture frame tucked underneath the purple silk fabric. They reach Yongen and Akira leads them through the backstreets, they reach Leblanc and Yusuke spots a familiar face in one of the booths.

“Hi Yusuke!” The girl whose name escapes him stands to face him.

He tries to speak but he’s utterly dumbfounded, he forgot he even made this arrangement.

“I got you a cup of coffee, I figured you’d like one. It shouldn’t be too cold.” She smiles and sits back down as the group advances further into the cafe.

“Who’s the chick,” Ryuji asks Yusuke.

Yusuke desperately searches his mind for her name, “She’s um, a friend from school.”

“These your friends?” Sojiro asks Akira. 

He nods, leaning in to whisper that he doesn’t know who the girl at the booth is, and that it seems like Yusuke doesn’t either.

“Aren’t you going to sit?” She asks Yusuke, who's standing in between Ann and Ryuji.

“Um, well no.” He replies, hand on his chin. “I’ve got more pressing matters to attend to.”

She huffs, slamming down a couple hundred yen onto the table as payment for the coffee and storming out.

“Nice going, stud.” Ryuji slaps his back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it was short


	4. I Want You to be Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang discusses baby corn.

“What is that supposed to mean, that was not ‘nice going’.” Yusuke says, an almost angry tone to his voice as he walks up the stairs to Akira’s room. 

“It’s called sarcasm,” Ryuji walks up behind Yusuke. 

“Oh.” Flustered over missing another social cue Yusuke shakes off his nerves and looks around the room before him. 

“It ain’t much… But it’s kinda homey.” Ryuji admits, as bold as ever.

Akira just shrugs his shoulders and sits down on the sofa next to Ann, she snuggles up next to him. Morgana looks on from the countertop with subtle jealousy. Ryuji leans back on his hands, sitting on Akiras bed while Yusuke takes a seat on the floor. 

“Well,” Morgana starts. “Are we just gonna sit here and stare at the floor or are we going to celebrate Yusuke becoming a phantom thief?”

“What would a celebration entail?” Yusuke perks up, a celebration all of his own?

“Well last time we went to a buffet, but we can’t sell Sayuri like we sold the fake medal…” Ann taps her chin. 

“A meal of any sort would be delightful.” Yusuke mumbles. 

“Let’s have a meal then.” Akira smiles, sitting up and trying to not disturb Ann.

Ann pouts and sits up as well, “Let’s have a hot pot then! I think I see a portable stove over there.” She smiles and looks at Yusuke for approval.

“That sounds wonderful, a truly great idea Ann.” Yusuke smiles.

“Lets go get some ingredients then? Hey do you have a big pot we could use?” Ryuji asks Akira. 

“Yeah, I’ll find one.” He stands, walking downstairs to ask Sojiro if he could borrow one. 

Ryuji, Ann and Yusuke all head off to the small grocery store in Yongen. Ann does most of the shopping while Ryuji and Yusuke lag behind spurring an idea in Yusuke’s mind. 

“You know I truly admire your physique, Ryuji.” Yusuke begins his idea of mending their somewhat haywire relationship. 

“What’s that ‘supposed to mean?” Ryuji looks at Yusuke like he’s gone mad.

“Simply coming from an artist perspective, of course. Your muscles are very toned and I appreciate that.” Yusuke eyes Ann, picking out varieties of mushrooms.

“O...kay.” Ryuji replies, following Yusuke’s eyes to Ann. “Hey I don’t like mushrooms so dont put in too many.” 

Ann rolls her eyes.

“You don’t like mushrooms?” Yusuke asks, continuing their conversation. 

“Nah, it’s a texture thing. Don’t like Bananas either.” He rubs the back of his neck. 

“Maybe we have more in common than I first thought.” Yusuke ponders on the idea. 

“Hey can one of you hold the basket, it’s getting kinda heavy.” Ann holds it out to the boys. 

“Sure.” Ryuji grabs for it.

“My pleasure.” Yusuke reaches out.

Their hands are touching. 

Yusuke, who’s hand was on top, retracts; but not before Ryuji, ever so flustered, drops the basket. It crashes to the ground with a loud cracking sound, a jar of pickled baby corns breaking in the process. 

“Oops.” Ann says, eyes darting between Yusuke and Ryuji. 

“He did it.” Ryuji is quick to point to Yusuke. 

“I simply did not, your hand was holding the basket.” Yusuke retorts. 

“Well it doesn’t matter who broke it, I’ll go tell the girl at the cash register this needs to get cleaned up.” Ann puts her hands on her hips and walks towards the front of the store. 

“You broke it.” Ryuji folds his arms in front of himself. 

“I did not.” Yusuke bends down to sort through the vegetables, reaching the broken jar and delicately picking out glass pieces and baby corns. 

“Look at you, cleaning up the evidence of your own crime.” Ryuji scoffs, in a teasing manner. 

“I didn’t do it,” Yusuke huffs, sensing the tone this time. “You were simply so astonished by how soft my hand was that you had to drop the basket.”

Ryuji flushes. “Hey--Now-- No!” He stammers. 

Yusuke smiles a devious smirk up at Ryuji. “You did it.” 

Ann walks back to the two boys, an employee following her with a mop bucket. “Sorry again, we’ll pay for it.” 

“It’s no problem.” The employee says, in a tone so dead you can tell that it was in fact a problem. 

She laughs hesitantly, shooing the boys away with her. “That was awkward…” She mumbles. 

“Tell me about it.” Yusuke mumbles back at her. 

Ryuji is oblivious, years of listening to rock music at full volume finally proving itself damaging. “Hey don’t you guys think we have enough food? Lets pay and head back.” 

“Yeah… Let’s just forget the baby corn.” 

“Good idea, I don’t even like them anyways.” Yusuke replies.

“You don’t like baby corn?” Ryuji asks, almost in disbelief. 

“It’s, like you said before, a texture thing.” 

They pay for their items and exit the store and on the short walk to Leblanc Yusuke has time to reflect over the incident in the grocery store. It’s been a long time since he’s touched or been touched by anyone, skin to skin, in a nonthreatening manner; he realizes. He also comes to the realization that he’s completely and totally touch starved. Not necessarily for Ryuji, but he will admit the warm skin of his hand was a welcoming feeling that he did not oppose. Before he knows it they’ve arrived at Leblanc and he’s brought from his thoughts. 

Akira is already back in his room, the beginnings of the hot pot already cooking away on the stove. “Welcome back.” 

“We brought food!!” Ann smiles and holds up one of the bags. 

The rest of the night is quite enjoyable, to Yusuke’s standards. He’s never really had friends let alone been invited to a party of this nature before, so he has nothing to compare it to. They eat and talk, talk and eat and eventually the night grows nearer and the hot pot is finished. 

“We didn’t even get to finish it off with porridge…” Yusuke complains, although he’s far too full to even eat the porridge he wishes for. 

“Dude, don’t even talk about food right now, I don’t want a repeat of what happened last celebration.” Ryuji’s mind tries not to wander too far onto that day. 

“Speaking of which, what did happen last time?” Yusuke asks. 

“Our party?” Ryuji sits up from his resting position on Akira’s bed. 

“No, what came before that.”

“You mean Kamoshida?” Ann asks. 

“Yes, exactly. Why did you all decide to target him?” 

“It’s a long story.” Morgana stretches out on top of Ryuji. 

“Yeah, but it sounds like he wants to hear it.” Ryuji grabs Morgana and sets him on the floor. “I’m too full for you to be stepping on me like that.” 

Akira, not much of a talker, goes into explaining Kamoshida’s reign over Shujin. Ann follows up with a story about Suzui and how terribly Kamoshida treated both Suzui and her. Ryuji, interjected by Morgana a couple of times, explains the layout of the castle and their search for his treasure. 

“He truly got what was coming for him.” Yusuke concedes the conversation. 

By this point Ann is asleep, her head resting in Akiras lap. Morgana is also asleep, curled up on Akiras pillow, tail swatting Ryuji’s face every now and again. 

“I think it’s just us now,” Ryuji blows on Morgana’s fur. 

“How long are we planning on keeping the festivities? It’s getting quite late.” Yusuke rests his head in one of his hands.

“You’re welcome to leave whenever, I’ll walk you to the station then.” Akira seems half asleep at this point. 

“Yeah, I’m pretty beat. Yusuke, wanna get out of here?” Ryuji asks, sitting up fully. 

“Yes, let’s take our leave.” He stands, toeing on his shoes as he approaches the entryway to Akira’s room. 

“I’ll walk you guys to the station.” Akira stands, successfully replacing himself with a pillow for Ann. 

The walk to the station is nothing to report on, it begins to sprinkle with rain by the time they get there, hoping that when they get to their respective homes the skies will be dry. Akria bids them farewell and Yusuke and Ryuji are left to their own devices. 

“I’m thankful I have enough money for the train, I’d hate to walk back to Shibuya with the chance of rain.” 

“Dude you know I’d never let you walk home like that. Especially from all the way out here in Yongen.” Ryuji playfully punches Yusuke’s shoulder. 

“I’ll have you know that hurt,” Yusuke rubs his shoulder. 

They take the same train home, Yusuke departs down central street back to the atelier, utterly exhausted from the day. It’s hard to believe that so much happened in one day. He slumps into the modest house, setting down his bag by the door and toeing off his shoes. He only pauses on his way to his room, unnerved by the sound of crying coming from his sensei’s room. He figures this could be the change of heart, realizing that Madarame is in fact a horrendous monster and not a father figure to be admired is truly freeing. 

He sleeps peacefully that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they touched hands!!!!!!!!!!! fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	5. Don't obsess on your sadness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yusuke gets whats coming to him.

The next morning Madarame has his change of heart. Yusuke can’t find him anywhere in the house, and begins to worry. His first instinct is to message the group chat. 

Yusuke: I seem to have misplaced Madarame. 

Ann: What?!

Ryuji: what the fuck do you mean by misplaced

Akira: Any ideas on his location?

Yusuke: Ah my mistake, he seems to have left a note. There is no cause for alarm. 

Ann: Phew.

Yusuke takes the note in his hands and begins to skim over it. Something something ‘I’m so sorry’ something something ‘how will you ever forgive me’ something something ‘press conference’. Ah, that explains him being gone. He decides he’ll keep his news app notifications on for today. He heads to school.

By the time he gets there, he’s already the talk of the town. The girl, whom he promised to go out for coffee with seems to be spreading some awfully nasty rumors about him. He’s used to people ignoring him, but feeling their peering eyes over his shoulders all day is nerve racking. His phone buzzes and he excuses himself to the restroom. He watches the entire press conference, Madarame’s sobs seem different than they were before. It triggers something deep inside of him, and he brings his hand up to his eyes to swipe away a few stray tears. 

“Hey Yusuke,” A voice calls from behind him and for a second he’s half expecting to turn around and see Akira there with his welcoming presence. 

Instead it's a punch straight to the jaw. 

“That’s what you get for standing up Hinata.” 

So that was her name. He thinks as he stumbles backwards, hand gripping at his jaw while the other balances himself out of the side of a sink. Another punch to his face sends him to the floor, hands now on either side of his head to protect himself from the gang of bullies blows. One of the others kicks straight into his stomach, sending him into a fit of half coughing half gagging. Satisfied with their attack, spitting on him once and then leaving as soon as they came. 

“You mustn’t let this tear you down.” Goemon calls to him. “You are stronger than them, Yusuke.”

He shakily sits himself up, rubbing one hand against his aching jaw. The other hand grasping at his stomach, he feels a wave of nausea come over him but he suppresses the urge. Standing up he looks at his face in the mirror above the sink, a blue bruise already starting to form on the corner of his jaw. Thinking about covering it up with makeup after they meet at the hideout but remembers he has no money to even buy the makeup. He decides to confide in Ann.

Yusuke: Takamaki-san I must ask a favor for you. 

Ann: I told you, you can call me Ann. What kind of favor though?

Yusuke: Yes, Ann. I need to borrow some makeup of yours. 

Ann: Um… Ok? What did you need to borrow?

Yusuke: Something that will cover a bruise.

Ann: (↼_↼) What kind of bruise.

Yusuke: It’s nothing to be concerned about. Shall we meet at the restrooms near the hideout?

Ann: Sure, I mean. You do you. 

Yusuke isn’t quite sure what she means by the comment but by the time he’s done talking to her the bruise has almost fully blossomed into a purple and blue mess on the corner of his jaw. He frowns and weighs the pro’s and con’s of skipping class. Choosing to find aid in one of his favorite teachers, she lets him go with no problems. He waits in Shibuya for a while, scrolling through breaking articles of Madarame’s change of heart. Before he knows it school is out and he approaches the bathrooms to meet Ann. She’s already there by the time he walks up, she gasps when she sees his jaw. 

“Yusuke! What happened!” She hesitantly reaches her hands up around his face.

Not caring for the close contact he takes a step back, “You remember the girl at Leblanc? This is what I get for ‘standing her up.’” 

“No!” She protests, as if it would help anything. “That's so not fair. I bet one of them has a shadow in mementos, we can go get our revenge.”

“We will do nothing of the sort, It’s nothing really, I just need to cover it up.”

“S-sure…” Ann hesitantly hands off a makeup bag. “You’re going to tell Akira right? He needs to know.” 

“I’ll think about it.” He heads into the restroom. 

Later, at the accessway Ryuji tries very hard not to point out the obvious coverup job Yusuke did. He may be an artist but he’s no makeup artist. Ann tries to look away from the obvious disaster. Akira decides it’s best to discuss it alone with Yusuke, so he doesn’t bring it up. They decide to lay low for a week or so, letting the reverb of Madarame’s confession and the Phantom Thieves second appearance echo out into Tokyo. 

On their way back to the train, Akira gets Yusuke alone. 

“So.” Akira looks Yusuke up and down.

“So what?” He asks, confused. 

“What happened? To your jaw.” Akira crosses his arms in front of his chest.

Yusuke sighs, “You remember the girl in Leblanc?”

“Yes.”

“Some of her friends did this to me, as ‘punishment’ for standing her up.” He motions to the bruise.

“That’s cruel.” Akira rubs at his chin for a second. “We should do something.” 

“I insist you do not. I have already caused enough trouble for the Thieves as is. I couldn’t ask you to do that. Besides, I don’t even know their names”

“Alright,” Akira replies. “It’d be easy to find out though.” 

“You’re not wrong, and I suppose I cannot stop you from investigating; but I promise that I will handle this situation on my own.”

The next day, Yusuke does not handle the situation. He would say that the situation had handled him, but that situation just became the least of his worries. His teachers scowl at him, his classmates ignore him. They’ve all seen the press coverage of Madarame. He figures it’s better to be ignored than bullied daily, and perhaps he’s right.

Going back to the atelier after school is foreign, most of the shack has been blocked off for police investigation so he’s only limited to his bedroom and the bathroom. He looks at his barren room and shakes his head. Something must be done. His phone buzzes.

Akira: Let’s all meet up. 

Ann: See you soon!

Ryuji: i’ll be there

Yusuke: Something has come up, I’ll be a few minutes late. 

Akira: No worries. 

Frantically packing his belongings into his suitcase, Yusuke heads out the door. He stops by a shop on central street on his way to the hideout, picking up the most delectable looking sweets he could find. Making haste, he makes it to the hideout only 7 minutes late. 

“Sorry, I had a few stops to make.” He apologizes. 

“What’s the luggage for man?” Ryuji asks, inspecting the silver suitcase.

“Well,” Yusuke clears his throat. “I have decided to move out of the atelier.”

“Where are you going now?” Akira senses this conversation going in a bad direction. 

“I was hoping these sweets would persuade Takamaki-san to let me stay at her house.” He slips in the honorific for extra persuasion. 

“Um, not gonna happen.” She crosses her arms. “No way my parents would ever let me have a boy stay more than a couple of hours.”

“But…” Yusuke wonders why he ever thought this idea would work. 

“What about Ryuji’s place?” Akira offers. 

“Not gonna work, apartments too small.” Ryuji excuses himself from the predicament.

“It is quite small I do remember.” Yusuke affirms Ryuji’s statement. 

“Then why don’t you stay at our place?” Morgana chirps from his bag. 

Akira feels a cold wave of stress wash over him. 

“It might not be the best place but it’s livable, all we’d need to do is convince Boss and voila you’ve got a place to stay.” Morgana smiles, knowing that he’s putting all the hard work on Akira.

“That sounds marvelous, shall I accompany you to your home then?” Yusuke asks with such sincerity Akira could never say no.

“Sure…” He replies, trying to not let his anxieties show. 

They take the train to Yongen, it’s a short ride but it’s awfully crowded and Yusuke’s suitcase keeps bumping into the back of Akira’s legs. Yusuke has made sure to familiarize himself with Yongen, to the best he could considering he’d only been there one time before. The smell of coffee is strong, even just standing outside of Leblanc, he stands there for a moment, taking in the smell mixed with the leftover smell of the early morning rain. 

Entering Leblanc, with visibly no customers, Akira gets straight to the point. “Boss this is my friend Yusuke, you saw him the other day. He needs a place to stay.” 

Yusuke flusters, sputtering apologies for intruding.

“How long?” Sojiro asks, looking at Yusuke now.

“As long as you will permit me, sir.” He bows. 

“Stay a couple nights, see how you feel.” Sojiro waves a hand. “Now go upstairs, don’t want you scaring off what little customers I have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've finisihed the final chapter, just need to fill out whats in between hope you guys will like it uwu


	6. I Think So Differently Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The attic is very drafty, Yusuke notes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry its so late!!! i got distracted major big time

Yusuke makes himself comfortable in Akiras room, or as comfortable as he can be considering the dilapidated state of his surroundings. Not his first choice of accommodation but he supposes it’ll work. He sits on the sofa, resting his jaw against his hand, instantly retracting, remembering his aching bruise. Akira notices, he notices everything. 

“Still hurt?” He asks, moving some things around, making space for Yusuke.

“Tragically.” He huffs, standing up. 

He feels uneasy, as if this is not his home. He doubts he’ll be able to stay here for long. Maybe he should go to the dorms, it wouldn’t be too bad there, would it? He shakes the thought from his head. He should focus on helping Akira move things around to accommodate him. He stands and walks over to where Akira is moving spare belongings from the floor to the shelves. 

“Is there anything I can do to help?” He asks, looming over the other man, bent down picking up a manga off the floor. 

“I think I’m almost done, but thanks.” He smiles, standing up and putting the manga on the shelf. “I think I have a spare futon around here somewhere, hope it will suffice.” 

“I prefer sleeping on a futon rather than a bed. I’m sure it will be fine.” He feels awkward, this whole situation is so awkward. He wishes he had just moved into the dorms or had stayed at the shack. 

“Well you’re in luck.” Akira moves across the room to pull a spare futon out from between two boxes. “Here, all yours.” 

“Thank you.” He takes the futon and sets it down next to the couch, standing in the room with Akira. 

Akira stares at the taller boy for a quick moment, before speaking up. “You’re skinny.”

“Yes. I am.” 

“Do you want some curry?” Akira asks with a sheepish grin on his face. 

“Sure.” 

They head downstairs, and Leblanc is unsurprisingly empty. Sojiro doesn’t even turn around when Akira asks if he can provide their guest some food. 

“Yeah sure, just clean up when you’re done.” He says, smoking a cigarette and looking out the window of the door.   
Yusuke gets his fill and the rest of the night passes relatively smoothly until Morgana announces that it’s time for bed. Akira, knowing the drill by now changes into his pajamas and settles down into his bed, flipping through different apps on his phone til his eyes grow too heavy. Yusuke, however, is still fully dressed and sits anxiously on the sofa. 

“You’re just going to let him tell you when to go to bed?”

“Yeah, basically.” Akira replies, not quite sure what else he would do in this situation. 

“You should go to bed too, Yusuke.” Morgana says, stretching out from his position nestled in between Akiras legs. 

“I’m not tired, though.” 

“We’ve got a big day tomorrow.” Morgana curls himself up. 

“You say that every night.” Akira pat’s his head. 

Morgana bats at Akira’s hand. 

Yusuke pouts, feeling the urge to submit to the cat with the human soul. He changes and turns the light off before settling into his futon. Both Akira and Yusuke aimlessly scroll their phones until sleep claims them both. 

The next morning Yusuke wakes up too early considering how late it was that he fell asleep. He stands, making sure to avoid the creaky floorboards he memorized the night before. He changes into his school uniform and heads downstairs to greet Sojiro.

“You’re up early.” Sojiro laughs, seeing how obviously sleepy Yusuke is. 

“Yes, well Kosei is quite far from here.” He rubs one of his eyes and is greeted with a plate of curry and a cup of coffee set in front of him. 

“You’ll need your energy for today, then.” 

“You have my thanks.” He sits and begins to eat. 

The complex flavors of the curry mixed with the bold simplicity of the coffee triggers something in him, he thinks more on it as he eats. The flavors compelling him towards his own personal truth. 

“I think I will leave for the dorms today…” He thinks aloud. 

Sojiro laughs, “So ready to leave this place, huh?” 

“No, no, that’s not it.” He thinks he’s offended Sojiro. “I simply need to experience life with more of my peers.” 

“I see.”

“Before I leave, please do remind me I have a gift for your lovely cafe.” 

“Sure thing.” 

While Akira is still asleep, Yusuke tiptoes upstairs, collecting his belongings and pulling the Sayuri out from its protective covering. Morgana stirs awake and bids him farewell, he returns the sentiment and retreats downstairs. Handing off Sayuri and proper instructions on how to hang the painting in a flattering light to Sojiro, he leaves the cafe. An uneventful train ride later, he arrives at Kosei. Consulting with his advisor he gets a room at the dorms, leaving his baggage there and rushing to class.


End file.
